Girl, Stop Apologizing
by Rachel Hollis
The follow up to Girl, Wash Your Face is the kick in the butt you need when life brings you down. Girl, Stop Apologizing defines so many excuses we as women use to keep us stagnant in life. It not only lists the excuses, but tells you they're just that, excuses and if you want MORE, you are going to have to move past them.
The book is structured in three sections, excuses, behaviors to adopt, and skills to acquire It was written this way with a purpose and as you read, the order comes together. Each section builds upon the other.
Why as women do we fill ourselves with such doubt about the greatness we could become if we just believed? Similar to the "Lies" in Girl, Wash Your Face, these are things we tend to believe about pursuing big dreams and goals. Those things we inherently believe because either it's always been this way or we're too scared to admit we have the power to change things. Yes, FEAR is an excuse we tell ourselves.
A couple of excuses really spoke to me. Fear was a big one. Fear of failure. If I announced my DREAM and I fell face first, what would people think? I would hate to get back up with mud on my face.
And then there's "That's not what other women do" & "What will they think". I have been a follower my whole life due to my introverted personality. I became a master of mimic depending on what group of friends/acquaintances I was around. I would dream in private, in the depths of my head, and be whoever I needed to be in life. I was so consumed by other's opinions I became the master of mimic to please others, even if I wasn't pleasing myself.
BEHAVIORS TO ADOPT
I was/am guilty of "asking for permission". I don't even know why I do it. I wasn't raised in a male dominant home. I saw both my parents make decisions for the family even though my father was the "primary bread winner". As a child/teen I learned early on which parent to ask for what. I knew who would give me the answer I wanted to hear.
I had already read this chapter in the book when I had an "aha" moment the other day. On my blog I have been sharing some personal things about my journey through grief. I had my dad read a couple of pieces. I asked his permission to post them when I was ready. His response, "You don't need my permission. Your mom and I raised you girls to be independent. Do what you think is best." I am a 40 something year old who still asked permission yet the men in my life never asked me to.
"Learning to say no" is a skill I am currently working on. Like most people pleasers, I would take on things that I didn't want to do or felt I should. I used my voice this past week. I said "no" respectfully due to other big items due on my plate and it felt good. I was proud of myself for speaking my truth.
SKILLS TO AQUIRE
The chapter on Confidence was real. We often hear confidence being an internal force, but if the outside is not a reflection on what is in the inside, we may not project our fullest selves. It is not shallow to focus on our outside appearance. When we feel good about how we look we act it.
Let's talk about Effectiveness. This is my downfall. This is the area I know I need to work on. My ADD will kick in and I can fall down several different rabbit holes, cleaning, social media, aTV show, pictures, etc...
For example I will be working in my study and I'm stuck in my writing. I see an item that belongs in another room and I will get up to put it away. I see another item in the room I walked in to. That item needs to be put away. Next thing I know 45 minutes have passed and I haven't sat down to type another word.
Do you want more in your life? This is a great book to help you on your journey. It contains practical tools you can implement in your life right now. What separates this book from others with similar information is the stories she tells for each practice. Each chapter is filled with her own life experiences. These stories keep the pace of the book moving and gives you real examples of overcoming or practicing what you need to do. She shows you it has been done before and you can do it too.
I think the book can be summarized with this one quote:
"But, sister, let me tell you right now, in the absence of experience or knowledge, determination makes the difference between where you are and where you want to be!"
Where do you want to be? A 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 star read!
I received an ARC for my honest review.