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Too Comfortable

The Dioramist by Eric Keegan

Is it possible to be too comfortable? This is a question that has been on my mind. I listened to a couple of podcasts and then ran into a picture on my phone of a quote from a book I read this year (quote pictured; Diaoramist by Eric Keegan). In the podcasts they were discussing the drive and determination they had to grow and succeed because they wanted to leave struggles or hard times behind them. They did not want to continue in the way life was, so they worked to escape.

Which begs the question of the possibility of being too comfortable. I'm thinking of a plant thriving with lots of sun and water, being comfortable. But then I also think about the plant that has to fight to survive. If it makes it, is it stronger because of the fight?

I was raised in comfort. I never had to worry about money, parents fighting, food, a home to come to, etc... In college it continued. My parents were always there to catch me when I fell. And yes, I fell many times. But I never had to rely only on myself to get back up. I always had a hand helping pull me up. I lived in "comfort". I would dream of things, but never acted upon them. Why? I don't have a solid answer except I never felt the NEED to pursue them. They were fun to think about but it wasn't necessary to work harder.

The drive to work harder or be more successful comes from an internal motivation or an external situation you want to avoid. I had neither. I enrolled in a program to earn my principal's certification. I aced the program and passed my certification test on the first try. I decided, being a principal wasn't for me. This was nine years ago. I was stagnant, not growing. I was happy. My life was fun, but I wasn't pushing myself out of the comfort zone.

This was life until July 2017. That is when my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. This is not something that can be easily "fixed". My hard had arrived. This was a hard I had no control over and could do nothing about. I could support my mom, but I, myself, could not offer a cure. A few weeks later Rachel Hollis began her #last90days challenge. I jumped on board immediately, but I couldn't tell you why. It was just something I felt I needed to do. This was the catalyst that began the journey I am on now.

I have self published my debut novel and started a website/blog. I am actively trying to be better and find new ways to grow. This new path is not easy or comfortable. I have voluntarily added more work for myself since I am chasing a dream on top of having my career that pays the bills. So many times I am out of the 'comfort zone". Like now. Writing this for all to read. Exposing my thoughts for others to judge. This is exactly what I would have shied away from in the past.

This path also has me full of fear. Fear of failure. Fear of judgement. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of not reaching the goal I have in my head. But what I do know is I will never reach the goal unless I try.

Growth will never be comfortable. You will have to live in a space of unknown to jump forward and become more. You will have to try new things and be ready to fail. Everyone does. But even when you fail, you will need to get up, dust yourself off, and try yet again. Failure does not necessarily mean "The End". It only means try another way.

I love where I am now. Reflecting on my life will help me continue on this journey and learn for the future so I can help guide my daughter through life's struggles instead of extending my hand to her. I don't want her too comfortable. She will need the life lessons of getting back up to continue down her road.


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